"She Just Needs Her Hair Brushed"

Beyonce's To-Do List for Tuesday, April 12 2005

25. World Domination?
24. Fire Publicist?
23. Cash L'Oreal Checks
22. French lessons
21. Call Kelly ... "Michelle"
20. Call Michelle ... "Kelly"
19. ...

Beyonce's spin doctor Marcus Harris is sleeping on the job.

No real publicist of an international pop icon would allow their client's Hasbro-designed Barbie Dolls to sell on eBay ... for $2! The smart ones always hire interns to troll eBay and Yahoo auctions to drive up prices to increase their client's cache'. It's similar to how record label promotions teams pay people to request videos on VOD and music vid stations.

An even smarter-publicist would tell interns to Watch This Item in My eBay and seize any product that describes their client as "used, in good condition [and] needs her hair brushed as you can see."