"Hello, My Name is ______ (A-List-Internationally-Known-Actress"

Went to the gym earlier. No one there but the usual assortment of porn stars "models" and go-go boyz. Chatted up a former porn star "bodybuilder" who admired my traps, and asked for some tips. Said he was getting fat "off-season." Here's a tip: have to keep it up, sweety, no matter if the cameras are on or not.

That's Nicole Kidman's philosophy. When the cameras are off, she religiously heads to spinning class--no, no at my bodybuilder/stripper/model gym but at a similar locale in WeHo. But apparently, the instructor did not "recognize" the frail thin and gorgeous redhead whose face and name are known around the world. He asked who she was:

The softest voice that I have ever heard in my life responded with "Nicole". I turned around to see who could possibly produce something so quiet, and was shocked to see Nicole "Bag of Bones" Kidman sitting on a bike a few rows behind me. Hello. The woman should not be doing any physical activity whatsoever, let alone brutal cardio. Can somebody please put her on bed rest?